29.10.03
27.10.03
oneword.: roses: "I woke up this morning thinking of my Grandma, I guess I had been dreaming of her. When I was first seperated from her when I was ten, I drew her a rose. I missed her then almost as much as I miss her now. "
26.10.03
oneword.: saved: "in the scheme of things i have never really saved enough, i like to enjoy each moment, after all, life just isn't long enough to waste it saving everything for a day that may never come. perhaps my savings are my memories? "
24.10.03
oneword.: finish: "friday again and i take stock to see what it is i have to finish and what i can leave to drag into the next week, heavy like a lodestone. I want to feel achievement at all that i have completed but i feel pressured instead with all that awaits "
23.10.03
oneword.: simplify: "that's what i want? the smooth effortless glide of how things will be when i learn to simplify? in all honestly i would die of boredom if everything was too simple. i think the complications of life are what makes it all worth the bother "
22.10.03
oneword.: commotion: "Every morning it is fast and furious and intense, then the commotion leaves the building to catch the bus. With them goes the noise and the aura of stress and I am left with a soft blanket of peace. I love schooldays."
18.10.03
oneword.: advance: "i see her soft black feet, they sneak, inching slowly through the air she advances across the lawn, her yellow eyes fixed in super concentration. the hunting cat "
17.10.03
oneword.: final: "it feels like a few finals moments could really sum it all up, the day, the week, the year. i just have to get those moments right. all the choices made before won't matter if i can just get it right this final time. "
16.10.03
oneword.: forward: "i am trying to move forward here but technology is stopping me, i can't believe how reliant I have become on a machine, and now it is a machine that is failing me intermittently and that is jeopardising my employment situation. damn computers, damn them "
15.10.03
oneword.: dedicate: "i dedicate this day to you, let it be yours to do with as you will. take it, devour it, live it "
14.10.03
oneword.: "arid but not desert it is isolated and so quiet that it is frightening. i used to hear strange noises, but not until i had been away and then come back, suddenly the birds calling sounded disjointed and wrong whereas before they had simply belonged to this region."
11.10.03
oneword.: marked: "it doesn't matter how much time has passed, it doesn't matter how well i think i have forgotten. i am still marked, i can blame him and i can blame circumstances and i can move on and spend my time with people who didn't know me then, but in the end all the really important people are the ones i knew then and who still love me anyway. "
10.10.03
oneword.: spare: "in the evening i am tired and he circles me with questions and queries and stories and needs and quite frankly, he drives me spare. don't get me wrong, i love my son but sometimes he is so very tiring. "
9.10.03
oneword.: counter: "how many days til my daughter's birthday? how many days until christmas? how many days until i know myself? how many seconds until i run out of time to ty.. "
oneword.: stretch: "it's a bit of a stretch to ask me that. can i be there to boost you up then can i please dissappear when you feel don't you need me anymore? i do it anyway, i must be made of rubber"
7.10.03
oneword.: valuable: "the most valuable thing we own will never be a possession, my daughter is being a demanding bitch again as i type, i think the most valuable thing we can ever own is our manners "
6.10.03
oneword.: lavender: "I love lavender, I love the colour, the smell, that it makes me think of the mediterranean. I love hot days and flowering lavender on my deck. Lavender is love."
4.10.03
oneword.: limited: "Sometimes I feel limited, locked into being something that I am not happy being, then it dawns on me that the only one who truly limits me is myself. In the end it is my own expectations of myself that matter, and those of others only carry weight because they matter to me. "
3.10.03
oneword.: dive: "His skin was smooth and brown, with a few dark freckles on his strong adolescent shoulders. His eyes were green, I would always think of 'Irish Eyes' when I looked at him. He looked at me then, to be sure he had my attention, then climbed to the top of the high dive tower and twisted and tumbled with athletic grace into the water far below. A quick glance again as he pulled himself from he pool. Oh yes, I was watching"
2.10.03
oneword.: echo: "there is a beauty to having space about you, a place with no people, it isn't the beauty that you can see but that of having a place where you can yell as loud as you like and listen to your own voice echo around the hills, priceless "
1.10.03
oneword.: forced: "the worst thoughts come with this word, images that one would rather forget and i suppose i would rather a different word had been chosen for today......no-one should ever be forced to do anything they don't want to do "