oneword.: dynamic: "I want to feel dynamic, all conquering, unstoppable. I want the tasks to fall before me, defeated, completed. I want. "

oneword.: why: "does it still hurt? I know she is old now, I know she does not think, but I also know she never did think. She makes me feel small and worthless and unloved. Useless and a waste of space. Why does my mother do that? "

oneword.: technical: "Techinical knowledge, it's like my artistic ability, I have it in fits and starts, sometimes it all comes together and other times it is like another lauguage, incomprehensible. I love to draw, sometimes.. "

oneword.: twenty: "when i was twenty i lived in a workers cottage in the middle of the city, I knew if the day would be smoggy as I would wake with a headache and ease it by drinking too much coffee and sitting in the sun in the backyard stirring fabric in dyepots. when i was twenty "

oneword.: marshmallow: "There was a rumpus room where the old garage used to be and they had installed one of those fireplaces with the beaten copper cone style hoods. I think it was the first fireplace I had ever seen, we toasted marshmallows and Louise's big brother showed us his mother's book called 'The Joy of Sex'. I was eleven. "

oneword.: severe: "It's just oh, so serious lately. All that I do, day in, day out just so bloody serious. I look in the mirror and ask who is that ugly bitch with the severe expression. Stuff this"

oneword.: elements: "it's cool and damp this morning and I should walk to the beach but can't bear the thought of facing the elements today. The bite of the cool raindrops or the sharp cut of the wet sand on my toes "

oneword.: between: "Between when I wake in the morning and when I climb between the sheets at night, I sit here, this screen is consuming me, owning me. If I could money another way now, then I would. I need out! "

oneword.: belief: "If I could have that belief, would my life be simpler? If I could just not question but accept, swallow that story then would my life be better? Maybe all I need is self belief; that I can make it even if others make me feel I can't. "

that is today. the cloud has gone and the crickets are singing under the hot blue blue sky. it is the sound of school breaking up and summer excitement awaiting me, glorious

oneword.: discontent: "This is a great word for me today, I am wallowing in my discontent and am too pathetic, so I am told, to do anything about it. Discontent, today it owns me. Tomorrow maybe I will throw it off, a sweaty hat discarded on the floor."

oneword.: regard: "I regard my face in this mirror this morning, I see my brown eyes search out all my faults, they linger longer on the most hated aspects of me. Then stop longest on themselves, they out of all eyes can see inside my soul and they know where the true ugliness lies. "

oneword.: regard: "The way that you choose to regard me with such contempt even though I have only ever shown you respect, the way you think you deserve more when all you have ever shown to the people around you is your rude self-centeredness. The way that I regard you now, dear mother-in-law, is with pity. "

oneword.: constant: "all day every day. unstopping it goes on and on and on and I know the only way to change things is to be brave and i don't feel brave anymore and the longer i leave it the less brave i become "

oneword.: tender: "i touch you with my mind, a tender stroke upon your cheek, your eyelashes, so familar, shiver when my reach gets too close. the curve of your jaw relaxed, the corners of your mouth a soft tender curve of happy "

oneword.: production: "I am a product of my past, all tiny shards of memory and pain and laughter and tears, I am. I have small pieces of you all, all you people who have left your mark on me, some the softest tan, others scars deeper than the greatest canyons. I am your production. Are you proud? "